Toxic employers have a LOT to answer for...

Every day, I'm speaking to people who...

... have become physically sick because of work.
... are being kept awake at night with worry.
... have zero social life anymore.
... have lost touch with themselves and what they like.
... are feeling like they're failing those around them.

Some of the ways they say work is triggering these symptoms include:

🙁 Unrealistic expectations about what can be achieved.
🙁 Zero autonomy or flexibility in how they can get the work done.
🙁 Bullying behaviour from colleagues.
🙁 Unsupportive line managers.
🙁 Blame culture and even, in some cases, ritual humiliation of those who don't measure up.

Despite hearing these stories on a daily basis, I continue to be shocked at how employees are treated and what they feel they need to put up with to keep their jobs.

Life is beautiful and precious. A career has the capacity to feel joyful and a profound contribution.

If you're experiencing any of this at work, it's NOT OKAY. I understand the many reasons you may feel trapped right now, but I want to say, you don't have to take this.

What would you think if you found out I was an AI?

Would it matter to you? Would it change how you felt about my posts or my coaching?

Like so many of the professionals I’m speaking with at the moment, across a whole range of industries, I’ve had the odd moment of panic about the rise of AI and what it means for my job.

In the future, are people going to be hiring chatbots as coaches and looking to AI for guidance in their career changes?

On the one level, I see the benefits to society of democratising coaching and making it more financially viable for more people. On the other hand - selfishly - I love my job and would be so sad if it became obsolete!

Research shows that when people are engaging with an AI – BUT DON’T KNOW IT’S AN AI – they rate it more highly than a human on qualities like empathy and feeling heard. However, as soon as they know it’s a bot, they change their mind! 

This data potentially hints at something that isn’t just encouraging for my future job prospects, but potentially for the future of humanity…

… as humans we really value hanging out with other humans!

I see it in my clients that one of the things they most value from the coaching partnership is a chance to share their experiences with another human and to know they aren’t going through their career shift on their own. I can’t tell you the amount of times that a client finishes a session saying something along the lines of: “I feel so much more hopeful and energised now!” 

Would they feel the same after an interaction with a chat bot?

To me, that seems unlikely. Human connection is so deeply and evolutionarily ingrained in us as a primal need and source of energy. 

I would love to hear your thoughts. Would you consider taking on an AI coach to help you with your career change? Would that negate the need for human support?

Are you in the "Thank f**k it's Friday" crew?

I used to feel such a sense of RELIEF on Fridays.

Relief that I’d made it through another week.

Relief that there were two whole days ahead of me where I could be myself.

Relief that I would be getting out of the office that made me feel so stifled.

Counting the days to the weekend is wishing your life away. Sacrificing 5 of the 7 days of the week to something that, at best, you don’t believe in and, at worst, is killing your soul, isn’t worth it.

And yet, there millions of people doing just this. A staggering 90% of employees in the UK are either not engaged or actively disengaged in their work!

There are countless people right now who are feeling that sense of exhausted relief to have made it to the weekend.

Maybe you’re one of them. Trudging through the week to get to the weekend, which then whistles past in a blur before you find yourself – too soon - feeling the “Sunday Scaries” again.

 This quote from the Color Purple by Alice Walker may resonate:

“Time moves slowly, but passes quickly.”

Don’t let your life pass you by. Do something, however small, this weekend to start walking a new direction.

 (Book in a for a free consultation with me if you aren’t sure where to start.)

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash 

Cultivating active optimism

These times are troubling and uncertain. There is so much to feed our fatalism and despair. Yet, it’s at times like these that we need to cultivate hope – to be actively optimistic.

If we believe there’s no hope, we tend to….

… retreat into our shells

… isolate ourselves

… stop trying. 

Whether we are talking about big global challenges like climate change or war, or personal struggles for a more fulfilling life, pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Active optimism means rolling up our sleeves and working towards the future we want.

It means believing we can create the life and the world we want.

As Melinda Gates has said:

Optimism isn't a belief that things will automatically get better; it's a conviction that we can make things better.”

I’ve recently signed up to Action for Happiness’ Optimistic October, where we are sent a daily challenge. Today’s is:

Find something to be optimistic about (even if it’s a difficult time”.

I’m optimistic at the moment about Kamala Harris and her bid to become the first female President of the United States. It’s going to be an unbelievably tight contest, but whenever I hear her speak, her feminine strength, warmth and positivity gives me cause for hope.

What are you going to choose to be optimistic about today?

(For all my Jewish friends, Shana Tovah for tomorrow. Wishing you all, Jews and non Jews, a sweet year, despite how worrying things can look right now.)

Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash